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19 Lessons I've Learned in 19 Years of Marriage

Tomorrow marks 19 years since Greg and I embarked on our journey of marriage. As I reflect on these years, it's hard to imagine life without him. In honor of this milestone, I wanted to...

Tomorrow marks 19 years since Greg and I embarked on our journey of marriage. As I reflect on these years, it's hard to imagine life without him. In honor of this milestone, I wanted to share 19 valuable lessons that I have learned along the way. These insights have helped us navigate the ups and downs of married life, and while every marriage is unique, I believe they can be beneficial to others as well.

1. Marriage is not a 50/50 Relationship. Try giving 100%

In a marriage, simply giving 50% is not enough. It requires both partners to set aside selfishness and consistently give everything they've got to make the relationship thrive. It's about going above and beyond, putting in the extra effort, and always striving to make each other happy.

2. Communication is Key

Over the years, Greg and I have learned the importance of effective communication. It's not enough to assume that your partner can read your mind. We've realized that addressing issues and concerns openly and honestly is crucial. We make it a point to talk about everything - the good, the bad, and the ugly. And equally important is the art of listening. Understanding each other's perspectives is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

3. A Good Night's Sleep Can Work Wonders

Contrary to the popular advice of not going to bed angry, we've discovered that sometimes a good night's sleep can solve many problems. Instead of letting arguments escalate late at night, we choose to rest and tackle them with a fresh perspective in the morning. Additionally, we've found that taking a couple of hours of alone time can help us process our emotions before resolving conflicts.

4. Be Humble

Admitting our imperfections and being humble enough to accept our flaws is essential. Letting go of the need to always be right allows us to find common ground and come up with solutions more easily. Humility fosters understanding and growth within our marriage.

5. Kindness is Key

Among the many important qualities in a spouse, kindness reigns supreme. The ability to show empathy, compassion, and understanding towards each other's needs and feelings is crucial. Kindness creates a strong foundation and helps us navigate the challenges that come our way.

6. Differences Can Be A Blessing

Although Greg and I are quite different from each other in various aspects, we embrace these differences as a blessing. Our contrasting personalities and perspectives keep things interesting and encourage personal growth. We complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, making our journey together more colorful and fulfilling.

7. Put Your Marriage Ahead of Your Kids

While it might seem counterintuitive, we've learned that prioritizing our marriage over our children is vital. Our relationship needs constant nurturing, as we will be together long after our kids have grown. By setting aside dedicated time for each other and showing our children the love and importance we place on our marriage, we establish a strong foundation for our family.

8. Weekly Date Nights Make All the Difference

Dating doesn't end with marriage; in fact, it becomes even more essential. Despite busy schedules and the demands of raising children, we make it a priority to have weekly date nights. This dedicated time allows us to reconnect, laugh, and strengthen our bond amidst the chaos of life. Whether it's a quiet dinner or an adventurous outing, these date nights rekindle the romance and keep our relationship alive.

9. Change Starts with Yourself

We've come to accept that we can't change our partner; change must come from within each of us. Focusing on personal growth and improvement instead of trying to change the other person has proven to be more productive and fulfilling.

10. Compromise is Essential

Having differing opinions and preferences is natural, but being willing to compromise is crucial. We've learned that finding common ground and meeting halfway is necessary for progress and harmony in our marriage. Setting aside our pride and working together to find solutions has strengthened our bond.

11. Keep Private Matters Private

Maintaining trust and intimacy within our relationship means keeping our marital struggles and irritations between us. Publicly criticizing or belittling each other only causes harm. We make it a point to create a safe space where we can openly discuss our concerns and support each other without judgment.

12. Marriage Works Best as a Partnership With God

We believe that a strong partnership with God is essential for successfully navigating the challenges of marriage. Praying together as a couple strengthens our bond and provides guidance and wisdom. Trusting in a higher power and seeking spiritual unity has been a cornerstone of our relationship.

13. Align Financial Goals

Financial matters can easily become a source of conflict, but we've learned the importance of being on the same page when it comes to money. Regularly reviewing our finances, discussing our goals, and compromising on financial decisions has helped us stay united and avoid unnecessary stress.

14. Keep Your Sense of Humor

Laughter truly is the best medicine, even in marriage. We've discovered that finding humor in everyday situations can alleviate stress and strengthen our bond. Whether it's sharing silly moments or finding joy in family life, laughter keeps our relationship lighthearted and enjoyable.

15. Embrace Change and Growth

Marriage evolves over time, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Embracing change and growth allows us to adapt to new circumstances and strengthen our relationship. Looking at the big picture, we recognize that love matures and becomes more profound as we navigate life together.

16. Give Each Other Space

As much as marriage is a partnership, it's essential to give each other room to grow as individuals. We encourage and support each other in pursuing our individual interests and passions. Allowing space for personal growth enhances our relationship and strengthens our mutual support.

17. Honesty is Non-Negotiable

Open and honest communication is the foundation of trust. We prioritize telling the truth to maintain transparency and avoid misunderstandings. Honesty builds a solid foundation for a healthy and strong marriage.

18. Serve Each Other

Acts of service are expressions of love. Whether it's small gestures or grand surprises, serving each other reinforces our commitment and affection. Finding ways to make each other feel loved and appreciated strengthens our bond.

19. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive

Inevitably, we all make mistakes. Forgiveness is crucial in any relationship. We've learned the importance of apologizing and forgiving each other, time and time again. Holding onto grudges only fosters negativity within a marriage. By forgiving, we promote growth, understanding, and a deeper connection.

As I celebrate 19 years of marriage, I hope these lessons resonate with you. Every relationship is unique, and marriage requires constant effort and dedication. Feel free to share your own insights and experiences in the comments below. Let's continue to learn and grow together!

19 Lessons from 19 Years of Marriage Image source: Starevent.vn